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Shyne was officially deported yesterday and touched down in Belize escorted by a U.S. Marshall after serving almost 9 years in jail for his role in a nightclub shooting in New York city. According to the Belizan, he was welcomed by his father Dean Barrow, Prime Minister of Belize, his mother and other family members. Before showering & eating he headed straight to Princess Royal Youth Hostel where he gave the kids a motivational visit.  He said it was important to him because he spent two years in a youth home when he was younger. He then headed to the Radisson where he rented out a whole floor so that he could have privacy for a few weeks. Via his uncle:

Shyne is home. He wants to say how happy he is to be home and to be a free man. He would love to have a conversation with the media but because he was legally advised by Professor Ogletree, he must not speak to the media because he doesn’t want to prejudice his situation with the US government or with the Belize government. So he asked me to ask you that he does not want to disrespect you the media, but please to understand what is going on. You could see the tears in his eyes as they hugged and the romantic situation in there especially with his Grandmother and with his father, with his younger brother Anwar, they hugged and did not want to let go of each other.”

“His residence at my place is two weeks away from completion so he has rented a complete floor at the Radisson Fort George Hotel. So every room on a floor was taken by him whether he will use it or not. He said that after going through the eight and a half years he has gone through, he needs some privacy, he needs not to be around anybody, he needs just to sit down in isolation and contemplate his life. And I think that we need to respect that. If you notice, he has lost an extreme amount of weight.”

Professor Charles Ogletree is expected to make a statement in Belize on Saturday. He is still attempting to obtain a pardon from Governer Patterson so that Shyne can return to the U.S.

Todays funkies are 20-year-old Joey Miller and 23-year-old Matthew McNelly of Carroll, Iowa (–about 90 miles northwest of Des Moines). 

–Last Friday, Joey and Matthew decided they were going to break into an apartment and rob it.  But they didn’t want anyone to recognize them. 

–So these knuckleheads came up with the “genius” idea to conceal their identities by drawing all over their faces with permanent marker.  (???)

–But not only did they fail to break into the apartment, someone saw them as they were driving off and called the cops.   

–A few minutes later, the police pulled Joey and Matthew over and arrested them. 

 –These clowns were each charged with second-degree attempted burglary, and Matthew was also charged with driving while intoxicated.   

–If they’re convicted, Joey could get up to five years in prison, and $7,500 in fines.  And Matthew’s looking at six years in prison, and $7,500 in fines.  

 The World Series gets under way tonight in New York.  And if you’ve got a pair of extra tickets, there’s a woman in the Philadelphia area who really wants to talk to you. 

–She’s 43-year-old Susan Finkelstein, and yesterday she was arrested after posting an ad on Craigslist reading, quote: 

–”Diehard Phillies fan . . . gorgeous tall buxom blonde . . . in desperate need of two World Series Tickets.  Price negotiable . . . I’m the creative type!  Maybe we can help each other!” 

–Anyway, an undercover cop contacted Susan, and after making a “creative” offer, he arrested her for prostitution.

(-And take a look at this “buxom blonde’s” mugshot here . . .)